Morning Meme: The Gold Standard

Have you ever encountered a man that buys Magnums with no need? Baggy Maggies are not protecting either party involved! You think folding a condom in half and stuffing it inside a vagina is an effective way to mitigate the issue of contracting an STD or avoiding unwanted pregnancy? No! Stop it! You might as well go raw my guy. I'm proud that you could afford the box of Magnums, but allow me to point you in the direction of the condoms that are made for you. There's NOTHING wrong with having an average size penis fellas! Honestly, majority of the men that buy Magnums don't really need them. If I see a Magnum XL laying around, that may be a good reason to escape if you value your uterus lol. The regular Magnums are merely a wider fit, not length. So, calm your balls. All women need is a good 3 inches to hit the G-Spot, so there's no need for you to be embarrassed. If you don't have porn penis, just perfect your craft. It's SO TRUE that size is just ONE variable in the overall experience.

Your foreplay game should be immaculate, and then she will be so over the moon that you could put a pencil in there and she'll go wild (never insert an actual pencil in there though lol). Also, make sure you keep your extremity well groomed. Having an abundance of hair down there only make objects appear smaller than they may be. Manscaping is very important! I don't know how women give head in bushes, but we can talk about that another time. I'm such a germaphobe that if something isn't aesthetically pleasing, I won't go near it anyway, and the size of your condom will be the least of your worries. The condom packaging is a non-factor. I don't get excited about window shopping. If I can go in the store, touch something, and take it with me, I'm gratified. Same principle applies to sex. Just because you put a Magnum on doesn't make you a superior lover! Grab That LifeStyle and go to work! If she still complains after you put her through the full Porn Hub position categories list, just blame her. Maybe she has a gaping vagina with the depth of a well. Just buy the right size condoms for fuck's sake (pun intended). If I catch you folding a condom in half, or grabbing excess condom at the tip, you might be liable to catch these hands. You won't be risking my health because your ego is bruised.