2018 Retrospective

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Late as fuck per usual! Listen guys, I promised a year ago to update content on a weekly basis, since daily was becoming more cumbersome. I have failed you all. I received messages on all my social media platforms about how you loved my posts, and wanted new updates. I honestly didn't think you were paying me any attention. I guess you never know who you're reaching, and what a simple laugh can do to brighten someone's day.

My goal is to transition to vlogging, but again, the time taken out must be steady and without inhibition. Amidst my vanity, and multitude of ideas that I start and don't finish, I say to you:

*places hand on heart*

"I, Melonie the MF G, vow to bring you more raw and uncut material on a weekly basis. I promise to continue to be myself, and not conform to anyone else's ideas of what's acceptable. I will make you laugh, disgust you, and also provide great educational information. On this I solemnly swear" 

*removes hand from heart*.

Moving along.....

This year has started off without excitement for me. I definitely took my time to think about my bucket list. Of course my fat ass wants to get in shape, but I never hold myself to that. it all depends on what I'm trying to accomplish. My gym membership has dust on it, and I honestly have no excuse for not using it. I feel much better when I work out, and my sex drive seems to increase. I feel heavy and sleepy all the time, so the water must increase, the fast food must be cut out completely, and the gallon of water a day has to be reinstated. Sounds simple right? Lol. Unfortunately, when hanging out with friends fulla THC and Cliquot, one doesn't lean toward the healthy side of the menu. Bring on the fried food bitch!! What else is new with me? I'm still single, and honestly have become so comfortable with being able to choose who I entertain, I don't even think about a future filled with marriage. I want attention when I do, and when I don't, I don't want you in my house. Sounds crazy to some, but it makes perfect sense to me lol. Everyone says I think this way because I haven't met "The One", and they may be right. In the meantime, I shall remain focused on the PRESENT and continue to be stingy with my time and affection. Feelings don't generate revenue, so unless you  plan on being dependent upon someone else, you better learn to separate your heart from your private areas. You'll be shit outta luck in this generation. People only do what's convenient for them, and your feelings are secondary. 

I feel like I'm rambling, so I'll end things with my latest venture. I am in process of becoming a certified Sexuality Expert/Coach!! I have always been a trusted source by many to discuss their relationship and sexual issues, as I always give sound and honest advice, without inserting myself. I plan on using my expertise to empower men and women. Healthy body image, healthy sex (whether single or taken), and of course bringing my crazy personality in the mix. I plan on doing parties, retreats/seminars, groups, couples, etc. I hope to provide guidance to older couples, young couples, teens, gay, bi, straight, EVERYONE lol. I am just becoming a one stop shop I tell ya!! Raise your imaginary glasses to another year of putting up with me!! Love ya!